And then there are the times we pray and the lightning bolt doesn't materialize. We don't get the clear answer, not a nice, neat yes or no, but rather a roadblock. Where did it come from? Is it a test of faith? Is it a warning sign from God to go no further? Or is it an attack from the enemy, who would love nothing more than to dissuade us from God's plans?
We had a roadblock about two weeks ago. We had found a house on the internet that we loved, very close to our current home, and we went to see it. It was perfect. All the things that drive us crazy in our house are just magically "right" in the new one. All the things we love about our house are also in the new one. The finances are possible, our kids wouldn't even have to change schools, AND we'd be around the corner from friends. For the final bonus, I knew of a family looking for a house like ours in our neighborhood. Talk about a win-win situation.
The thing is, though, there isn't really anything wrong with our house. Or our neighborhood. We aren't in the market for a new house, and I only found this one because I am addicted to real estate websites and like to see what's out there. Usually, nothing crops up that tempts us to move.
Then again, is there anything wrong with moving into a better house? It would probably save us money in the long run compared to putting more money into this house. It's not some monstrosity, though it is bigger. It's just that when I started thinking about it in terms of "deserving" a house like that, my radar went up.
So I went on my knees and asked God to please show me what He wanted us to do about the house. I thanked Him for our current home, and I honestly wanted His guidance without having (much of) an agenda. Having just come off my lightning bolt experience, I had high hopes.
Well, I got an answer, all right. Sort of. Once I prayed that prayer, the realtor vanished off the planet. I left messages to no avail, all my emails to her bounced, and we did not receive the property disclosure form that we really need to read before we can even think about seeing the house again. I also didn't hear from my friends who were trying to move here. Everything ground to a halt. The next day I finally heard from our friends... who are moving to Florida. Still no realtor. Still no disclosure. No potential buyers.
Do I have my answer? I really don't know. Is it an answer or a roadblock? Is it "no", or "not now", or "not this house", or "not on your timeline"? I've had this happen enough not to assume that difficulties automatically mean God is saying no, but nothing is happening. Roadblocks. Sometimes we just have to sit in the traffic line and wait a while before we'll see what caused the hold-up. And sometimes we get up to the front of that line and we can't find anything wrong! I'll keep you posted. One thing for sure: God is in the loop, even if I can't get an answer out of Him!
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Lightning
The other night we had a weather phenomenon that is new to me despite years of living places with real winter weather: thunder snow. Ever experienced that? Here we are in February, it's cold outside, and lightning is illuminating the nighttime skies, followed by thunder and accompanied by high winds and blowing snow. We expect the lightning bolts in the summertime, but not in the winter.
People often say that they would like a "lightning bolt" experience when they are seeking direction for a decision or inspiration for an idea. I have wished and prayed for such a thing on many occasions, but those prayers seem to fall on deaf ears most of the time. This is puzzling; after all, the Bible says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7). Why don't we get the lightning bolt?
Maybe the better question is why we get it when we do. I had one the other day. I was waiting at the doctor's office, trying to read a novel but actually ruminating on some career decisions I need to make. I knew I had to deal with these decisions but was really unsure of what God wanted me to do. I finally said, with a totally open mind and heart, "God, I just need some direction. Your direction. That's it." Well, nothing happened right away, so I picked up my book and resumed reading. I turned the page, and there in front of me was a paragraph about the very thing I was considering. In black and white on one page out of hundreds in a book with no other content related to this subject, there lay His direction.
Some will say it's a coincidence, but my knowledge of statistics casts doubt on that theory. Some will say I wanted it to confirm something I desired, but again, I truly wasn't looking for confirmation, just direction. Some will say it was just an example of the kind of thing I could do but not a prescription to do so, yet why that particular example? That particular moment?
I think we just get so used to not receiving the lightning bolts that when they do arrive, we don't know what to do with them. God still answers. In Jeremiah 29:13, He says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Why did He answer me this time? I had no agenda. I wasn't asking forgiveness instead of permission. I wasn't making my plans and asking Him to rubber-stamp them after I was committed. I just sought His guidance, His heart, pure and simple.
Is this a guarantee of a clear answer, a lightning bolt every time? Certainly not. Does it mean that you are seeking with somewhat less than your whole heart if you don't get an answer? Also not, but it is much less effective to ask for something with an agenda in mind, then get angry and defensive when the answer is not what I wanted to hear! Simply asking for God to reveal His will (and being willing to hear it and follow it) is the open door to the lightning bolt, in any season.
I'd love to hear about your "lightning bolts"--how has God answered your prayers? How has He (seemingly) not?
God's grace and peace to you.
People often say that they would like a "lightning bolt" experience when they are seeking direction for a decision or inspiration for an idea. I have wished and prayed for such a thing on many occasions, but those prayers seem to fall on deaf ears most of the time. This is puzzling; after all, the Bible says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." (Matthew 7:7). Why don't we get the lightning bolt?
Maybe the better question is why we get it when we do. I had one the other day. I was waiting at the doctor's office, trying to read a novel but actually ruminating on some career decisions I need to make. I knew I had to deal with these decisions but was really unsure of what God wanted me to do. I finally said, with a totally open mind and heart, "God, I just need some direction. Your direction. That's it." Well, nothing happened right away, so I picked up my book and resumed reading. I turned the page, and there in front of me was a paragraph about the very thing I was considering. In black and white on one page out of hundreds in a book with no other content related to this subject, there lay His direction.
Some will say it's a coincidence, but my knowledge of statistics casts doubt on that theory. Some will say I wanted it to confirm something I desired, but again, I truly wasn't looking for confirmation, just direction. Some will say it was just an example of the kind of thing I could do but not a prescription to do so, yet why that particular example? That particular moment?
I think we just get so used to not receiving the lightning bolts that when they do arrive, we don't know what to do with them. God still answers. In Jeremiah 29:13, He says, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Why did He answer me this time? I had no agenda. I wasn't asking forgiveness instead of permission. I wasn't making my plans and asking Him to rubber-stamp them after I was committed. I just sought His guidance, His heart, pure and simple.
Is this a guarantee of a clear answer, a lightning bolt every time? Certainly not. Does it mean that you are seeking with somewhat less than your whole heart if you don't get an answer? Also not, but it is much less effective to ask for something with an agenda in mind, then get angry and defensive when the answer is not what I wanted to hear! Simply asking for God to reveal His will (and being willing to hear it and follow it) is the open door to the lightning bolt, in any season.
I'd love to hear about your "lightning bolts"--how has God answered your prayers? How has He (seemingly) not?
God's grace and peace to you.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
White Out
It is snowing this afternoon, covering the brown, sandy roads and stained snowbanks with a fresh, downy coat, and my thoughts turn to white-out. Did you know that in a medical record, it is illegal to correct errors with white-out? That a mistake must be lined out and initialed instead? How humiliating, you might think; if I leave the mistake visible, people will know that I messed up and had to fix it! People will think I'm not smart. I could be held accountable for something I wrote by mistake and never even acted on...
Humans love to cover their tracks. We'd love it if all our mistakes were edited away, leaving only perfection behind. We live in a time of easy fixes, and we expect them. If we make a typo, we hit the backspace key and it's gone. If we get our hair done and don't like it, we choose a different color. If we wreck our car, we take it to the body shop, and voila, perfection once again. No one ever has to know we made these mistakes.
But some mistakes can't be whited out. The mistaken decision to drive drunk may leave behind a wheelchair (yours or someone else's) that cannot be hidden. The decision to shoplift (if signs in fitting rooms can be believed) may leave you with a permanent criminal record. The decision to cheat on an exam may cost you your college career or a job opportunity.
The drive to white out the mistakes has costs, too. When I try to appear perfect, who knows what person is put off, a person who might need my encouragement as one who has "been there" but can't recognize me as such. When I white out my mistakes, I'm also denying their existence to myself, shoving them down under layer after layer of cover until I think I can't see them anymore. But you know what happens with white-out; after a while it starts to flake and crack, and you can rub it off, revealing what is behind it.
Today I resolve to not use white-out. Am I suggesting that we all introduce ourselves with a litany of past mistakes and sins? Not at all. Neither am I suggesting that we keep ourselves from healing from things in our past that have hurt us deeply. But let's line out those things in our minds instead of trying to mask them with white-out. Let's not forget the process of healing and the opportunity to minister to others because of it. And let's not forget that none of us is perfect and cut each other a little slack. Mercy. Receive it. Give it.
God's grace and peace to you.
Humans love to cover their tracks. We'd love it if all our mistakes were edited away, leaving only perfection behind. We live in a time of easy fixes, and we expect them. If we make a typo, we hit the backspace key and it's gone. If we get our hair done and don't like it, we choose a different color. If we wreck our car, we take it to the body shop, and voila, perfection once again. No one ever has to know we made these mistakes.
But some mistakes can't be whited out. The mistaken decision to drive drunk may leave behind a wheelchair (yours or someone else's) that cannot be hidden. The decision to shoplift (if signs in fitting rooms can be believed) may leave you with a permanent criminal record. The decision to cheat on an exam may cost you your college career or a job opportunity.
The drive to white out the mistakes has costs, too. When I try to appear perfect, who knows what person is put off, a person who might need my encouragement as one who has "been there" but can't recognize me as such. When I white out my mistakes, I'm also denying their existence to myself, shoving them down under layer after layer of cover until I think I can't see them anymore. But you know what happens with white-out; after a while it starts to flake and crack, and you can rub it off, revealing what is behind it.
Today I resolve to not use white-out. Am I suggesting that we all introduce ourselves with a litany of past mistakes and sins? Not at all. Neither am I suggesting that we keep ourselves from healing from things in our past that have hurt us deeply. But let's line out those things in our minds instead of trying to mask them with white-out. Let's not forget the process of healing and the opportunity to minister to others because of it. And let's not forget that none of us is perfect and cut each other a little slack. Mercy. Receive it. Give it.
God's grace and peace to you.
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